Who watches the watchmen...Police officers, huh? How about them, while they provide us with security and protection they can also make terrible mistakes. Some of them aren't happy until they've viciously beaten an innocent victim with a spiked truncheon to within an inch of their lives, stamped on their face with boots that have razor blades on their soles, then thrown powdered glass into their eyes and raped their entire family.

These are the sort of people who must watch the Rodney King tape as some kind of training video, studying it with the vigour of a seasoned scholar, exacting every last bit of information from it in the hope of gaining some new insight into lacerating a person's skull, or blinding them or leaving them with permanent brain damage, so they're a dribbling, fleshy goon, fit only for rocking back and forth like a demented pendulum, whose only use is as some sort of human time keeper.

Of course, there is a plus side to this whole thing, which is a big up to the little girl involved in this incident. Taking on three male cops, that's some good skills. She may grow up to be a professional wrestler, plus she can dine out on this story for years. 'Yeah, I may have cuts and bruises to my face and neck, but I kneed that pig scum so hard in the groin his manhood now sits in the back of his throat and he'll be tasting the sticky, salty richness of his own rancid balls for the rest of his life...'

Some women have the looks of a goddess and a body that God himself would kill his own son (again), and neglect to resurrect him, to get to. You think WOW-zer, what I wouldn't do to get her between the sheets. You'd skin your own mother to spend a night with them. But what if they have a stupid name, a name so profoundly foolish, so utterly laughable they make Bond girls' names look like the work of a satirist who'd make Peter Cook weep with shameful inadequacy.

A name so ridiculous that if you had to shout it during intercourse you would need to commit hara-kiri afterwards to maintain your family's honour.

Well these women have those names, so be aware. Or change your name to something dumb like Bartlet Angerchase or Google Filter.